Pity

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.
~D.H. Lawrence

There are many times through out a day that this poem floats
through my mind.  Working with animals on a daily basis proves it to
me time and time, again.  When I was a vet tech, I would see
animals come in with limbs ripped off and not once would they
complain or cry out.  That level of quiet strength is something that I
just don't feel humans are capable of.  I know that I certainly
don't have this trait, as I start to feel more and more
sorrow *insert self pity here* as we draw
closer to Halloween.

***History Note:  My mother died at 9:10 pm October 31st 2006
after a vicious battle with breast cancer.  In her last days
she was incoherent and a shell of the amazing person that she
was, of course she was a people pleaser and such a loving mother
that she refused to pass until I told her it was okay to go
and I left the room.  Within minutes she was gone.***

I used to love Halloween.  The ability to put on a mask, be
someone else, have a blast with friends, and to top it off
with candy!  (The Pagan in me adores it.)
But now it is a highly advertised reminder that no one is
safe, mind numbing sorrow is lurking around every
corner, and that I am one parent away from being an orphan.

Now if I was devoid of pity, these things wouldn't plague me the
same way, it would be a fact in
the circle of life.  The pain of losing my super
hero, the light in my darkness, the only person
on this planet that I could talk to and never be judged,
or afraid what they thought of me - all
those things that a Mother is....gone.

For this I have pity and it consumes me.
Oh to be a wild thing that never felt sorry for itself!

***Okay I'm done with my over the moon, pity party!
If you feel the need to throw your head
back and howl, go ahead! I do.  Lamenting with
humour is far better for the soul.  Oh and if
you need to borrow balloons for your own pity party let me
know and I will send mine to you, as
I'm done with them for now!***